the olive ream

A BRIEF ENCOUNTER OF THE PROSTITUTE KIND

X: Psssst!

Me: Yes?

X: Come closer honey, I won’t bite.

Me: Well, that’s a relief.

X: Do you wanna have some fun, darlin’?

Me: No thanks, I just had some.

X: Oh, c’mon! I can promise you some real hard-core action.

Me: I know, and that’s what I’m afraid of.

X: Hey, I’m desperate. If I don’t get your business, I’ll be in serious trouble.

Me: Why don’t you do something better with your life. Stop demeaning yourself like this. I’m sure you could make a better living.

X: Easy for you to say. You think I like doing what I do? They are people out there who would make my life a living hell, if I stop working the streets.

Me: I’m sorry; I didn’t realize things were so tough for you.

X: You have no idea. I’ve been walking the streets for the last 6 hours and my heels are killing me. I haven’t been able to convince a single guy to come with me.

Me: That is a shame but I’m sorry, I am still not interested.

X: Damn you!!

Me: I have twenty bucks in my wallet. Here, you can have it.

X: I don’t want your charity! I want you to come…

Me: You are wasting your time. I am not bloody interested! Get it?

X: But why?!!

Me: Because I am not from the US, and there is NO way that you, as a US Military Recruiter, can sign me up for your bloody War on Terror, which incidentally, is a complete farce to the majority of sane people of this world. Now fu** off and leave me alone!

4 Comments so far

  1. Sin June 25th, 2005 10:06 pm

    OK, you actually had me crack up there Olive :)

  2. Shahid June 25th, 2005 11:42 pm

    LOL!!!!!!!!!! That was absolutely superb! I love your dialogues, and that one had me convinced it was real right until the punch-line. Brilliant!

  3. Shirazi June 26th, 2005 1:53 pm

    This is how you turn monologue in a dialogue. Wonderful and familiar built up (this was once written by Ahmad Nadeem Qasmi in his column Gareban), but no one could think of the punch line you have thought. This is a hardest hit.

  4. Hani July 7th, 2005 11:30 am

    Haha

    You have a great sense of humor!

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