HEADLINES
-Al Qaeda runs out of video and audio tapes – DHS left clueless to Bin Laden’s next move
-New Metal detectors to be installed in all Kindergarten schools – Eye scan also mandatory for all new students
-Brits propose Blair vacation in Baghdad - outside the green zone
-Bush follows Blair to Baghdad, detailed vacation itinerary available on White House web site
-North Korea launches 745th missile test. US says no military intervention necessary
-Iran talks about its own missile test. US says pre-emptive strike on Iran by tomorrow
-Al Qaeda stop using the internet – FBI says “no fair!”
-Tragic! Britney Spears herself (accidentally) – celebrations held at The Olive Ream
-Nokia Launches new mobile phone 2880 Retro – first cell phone that is just a phone and does not include an MP3 player, a voice recorder, a camera, games and a Cuisinart.
-Hamas official sneezes – Israeli tanks move into southern Gaza
-John Bolton chokes on own mustache while trying to kiss himself
-Rumsfeld visits VA hospital in full security – still gets beaten up by in-patient veterans
-Dick Cheney accidentally shoots a bird while hunting for lawyers
-US military personnel arrest 47th number 2 guy in Al Qaeda
-Department of Homeland Security change Threat Level to ‘High’ – based on DHS Secretary’s gut feeling
-Allen Dershowitz claims there are no Israeli lobbys influencing the US foreign policy – also claims sky is red
-Fox News officially syndicated by the Comedy Central Network. – declared as funniest show on the network
-Florida hit by 30th Category 5 hurricane of the season – Bush say’s “what global warming?”
-US Poll: 37% students cannot identify US on a map. 63% cannot identify a map
-Bush requested by students to sketch the image of his brain – draws a blank
17 Comments so far
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lol..How I wish I could my hands on that Nokia Retro phone!
Brilliant as ever!
P.S. I just realised OLIVE REAM and OVER A MILE is an anagram. Very smooth!
Dude u need to start publishing a newspaper titled
Headlines That Could Have Been
Excellent - the sad thing is that each headline reflects a specific truth which is covered up, or a rampant idiocy which is not acknowledged… aah, the wonders of a “free press”!
P.S. I just realised OLIVE REAM and OVER A MILE is an anagram.
And yet he has the audacity to lampoon poor Dan Brown!
Now this is one paper I LOVE reading.. At least I’ll get the notion of truth..
amazing as always. very entertaining and eye opening.
loved it. Some of the stuff was REALLY funny
LOL! I’d love it if you could sneak some of those into the American press!
Loved the Tony Blair take a vacation in Bhagdad wali one-liner…
absolutely hilarious!! maybe you could compose articles for some of those headlines.
Very interesting and thought-provoking…
Quite liked the Spearing comment.. took me a few seconds to get it too!
good stuff!
really good stuff yaar!
headlines:)!!!!
konsi secret agency hay:)
*smiles. zaberdast janab.
fox news ISSSSSS funny
My favorite is the one on Bolton! lol…Enjoyed my first visit. I am a strong believer in the power of humor and sarcasm. It’s funny, but I’ve started working a while ago on my own sarcastic fictional news stories inspired by life in Dubai and was hoping to get to the international scene sometime later; it’s on my blog; you may also want to check my other blog on Palestine. They’re both new and still need lots of work. I think I spend more time commenting on other people’s blogs than writing my own stuff!
LOL! I’d love it if you could sneak some of those into the American press!