the olive ream

The HOW TO & The WHY NOTs of Writing A Succesful Blog Post:

I shall not be writing about my favourite song, my favourite colour or my preference for street luge in heavy traffic as an olympic event. I shall not be disclosing any secrets, prophetic revelations, half-truths or gargantuan lies about myself either. The purpose of this post is to help the uninitiated, the down-trodden bloggers of this copiously cruel cyber world who may occasionally be lost for words for meaningful content and suffer an acute case of blogger’s block.

This article details the disparate parts needed to form a successful blog post so if you are looking for something interesting to read this might (not) turn out to be your cup of double de-caf, half-caf java.

The key is the process of writing itself. If you can type an adequate amount of nonsensical drivel to fill about 8 lines of your post, you’ve already achieved ninety percent what needs to be done.

An important factor towards this aim, is to ensure that no profundity seeps in accidentally within your incoherent diatribe. The writing should be innocuous enough not to result in a comment from an accidental reader.

For narcissists seeking attention, add titles for your post such asAttack on Iran, Israeli Nuclear Weapons, American Imperialism and most importantly, Midget Ménage à Trois. This will ensure the requisite audience of perverts and intelligence agencies (which in most cases are one and the same) flag your site for permanent review.

Pictures can be utilized to fill the space but shall be abstract yet repulsive enough to cause the uninvited peruser to violently purge the contents of his/her last meal.

If you crave the need to add a little profanity into the mix of your muddled textual tirade, avoid the most commonly used forms of obscenities. Alternatives such as “huge, wobbly, dangly ones” or “baggy bit of sausage” should be opted for. No frame of reference should be given for the use of either of these two options.

Finally, ensure that your post ends without actually completing the sent…

Since my initial post regarding the inception of the Don’t Blog The Blog (DBTB) campaign, a lot has happened. The campaign received a positive response from the bloggers, the national and international media and of course human rights organizations such as RSF and ONI. I continue to nudge, push, scratch backs and fiddle with knobs to get the issue highlighted wherever possible. So far, everyone except the concerned government authorities have paid attention to our cause. But I guess, that is the case with most free speech campaigns so I am not discouraged.

Recently, I was interviewed by Sami Ben Gharbia, Global Voices Online’s new Advocacy Director. The article details the (Pakistan) blog censorship issue quite well. Additionally, he’s also included Awab’s wonderful presentation on free speech during last year’s conference in Manila.

Please take the time out to peruse the article, review the presentation and read my interview, as I finally get a chance to answer some of the critics of our campaign.
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UPDATE: With Sami’s kind approval I am highlighting the portion of the article that includes my interview, but please make it a point to check out Awab’s presentation and the rest of Sami’s article here.

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Sami Ben Gharbia: Can you tell us more about the filtering situation in Pakistan? Did the online censorship get started in 2006 with the ban of the Blogspot.com blogging platform, or it is also targeting other online content, like opposition groups, news websites or the publications of human rights organizations?

Omer Alvie: Censorship of web sites did exist before the blogspot ban. Although the blockade was of only of a few primarily Indian media sites that focused on political view points that were critical of Pakistan or the Pakistani government. Since the blogspot ban a few selected other Pakistani web sites have been a target of government blockade. These sites are primarily political, addressing the Balochistan (province) crisis and the political movement which is particularly outspoken against the current government of President Pervez Musharaf.

SBG: Why doesn’t the Pakistani government ban just the sites that were displaying the cartoons? Why they are maintaining a DNS level block on the blogspot.com domain and not an URL block targeting the sites deemed blasphemous?

OA: Keeping in mind that the internet (user) community is a small percentage of the total population of Pakistan, I think the level of priority or importance given to this issue by the concerned authorities is obviously very little.

As far as the blocking of the complete blogspot.com domain is concerned, and I don’t know if it is incompetence, indifference or lack of an appropriate technique to block a specific blogspot site without blocking the whole domain. But the rationale for blocking millions of other blogs for the sake of one blog that is classified blasphemous is absolutely and positively ridiculous. But unfortunately they continue to do it. As far as banning the sites that were displaying the cartoons of the Prophet, the PTA is enforcing a ban on some of them but obviously not all. They probably are not even aware of the existence to some of them.

Actually, I’m sure the PTA realizes the enormous and impossible task of actually blocking everything that is classified blasphemous. It cannot be done as new sites come up every day that can be considered offensive, or the existing ones can be mirrored to alternative web addresses so the whole exercise of blocking sites is rather futile in my opinion.

The only way the authorities (in any country) can successfully ban a specific topic or content on related sites, is by banning the whole of the internet in that country. Otherwise, it can NEVER be done. What usually ends up happening, as in the case of the cartoon issue, the most useless, hate-filled, and irrelevant site ends up being popular (and as result gets a much larger audience) due to the ban enforced on it.

SBG: During the last year the ban of blogspot.com has been lifted several time and then resumed after a few days. How can you explain that? Is there any official reason behind this hemming and hawing?

OA: It is true that sporadic and short lifting of the blogspot blanket has occurred during the last year. No official reason has been given for the lifting of the ban for these very short durations. It should also be noted that the no clear official declaration has been made by the appropriate government authorities regarding the blogspot blanket ban either.
It is likely that the unblocking of the sites occur due to a glitch or other technical reasons in reference to the concerned ISPs. It is usually not the case that all ISPs unblock the blogspot sites all at the same time and for the same reason, however the short duration of the lifting of the blockade maybe.

SBG: The censorship of blogspot.com has a religious and cultural justification. What does the “Don’t Block The Blog” campaign think about censoring the 12 blogs publishing the controversial cartoons of the prophet Mohammed? Do you support their right to publish such cartoons? Does the DBB stand for defending the right to be offended, to borrow the expression of Salman Rushdie?

OA: It is my view that censorship on the internet is impractical and illogical. Blocking of sites does not ensure that the content becomes unavailable. Proxy by-pass servers and mirror sites can be set up to gain access to anything the government is trying to block.

We at DBTB support the right of free speech for everyone. This umbrella of free speech rights also covers those sites that we might consider offensive. In order to ensure free speech for most average citizens who voice their opinions for no other reason then just to tell the truth, one has to accept the right of free speech of even those who have an extremist or hateful political agenda. It is the right of every citizen (of the world) to voice their opinion and we support their right for free speech.

SBG: On the Washington Post article “Pakistan’s Blog Blockade” a few comments are accusing the “Don’t Block the Blog” group of campaigning in favor of selective freedom of speech. They are arguing that you are supporting censorship of the blogs and websites deemed offending; they are even quoting some extract from the press release–dated 06 March 2006–in which you wrote: “We urge the print and electronic media to exert pressure upon the Government of Pakistan to first lift the ban on non-controversial blogspot.com websites (…) while we expect any censorship to be within the limits of decency and decorum of the Pakistani culture.” Do you think these accusations are unfounded? How can you refute them?

OA: That initial press release was revised to clarify our point. That same press release and our website also included the statement that we support the right of free speech for ALL. Yet this quote was used to target our campaign.

Keeping that in mind, let me further clarify the quote initially written in the press release. Knowing fully well that we were addressing an extremely sensitive issue within our country and the primary reason for the blogspot ban was the printing of the cartoons of Prophet Mohammed (PBUH), we had to be extremely practical in our approach in launching our campaign. Most readers in the west, and perhaps even those who used the quote to attack us, are not aware of the blasphemy laws enforced in our country. Keeping aside our personal opinion of such laws, it was imperative for us to be smart and present the issue as diplomatically as possible, without further inciting the situation. Had we first focused on the unblocking of the 12 banned sites, out of which only 1 or 2 were actually on blogspot, we would have certainly ensured ourselves a place in the list of banned sites.

For those who do not delve into advocacy issues, or are not actively involved in a free speech campaign, are usually not fully aware of the how the “game” is played. The primarily goal is to fight for free speech for everyone but in order to do that, one has to start slowly, diplomatically (walking on egg shells, as it were) to ensure that the campaign survives to fight a long battle. One has to keep in mind the political, religious and social tenets and laws practiced within the country in question. Once, the campaign gains momentum and garners the requisite attention, the campaign can push further the cause of free speech as the primary and only option for the way forward.

I would also like to point out that those who criticize our campaign, citing the example of the western countries as truly supporting free speech in comparison to Muslim or Third World countries, ought to seriously look at the reality as it exists. Specifically in Europe, and now even U.S. and Canada, the right to free speech does NOT exist when it comes to the topic of Holocaust Denial or Holocaust revision. Those who practice this right either end up in jail or else face some other punishment as in the case of Ernst Zundel, David Irving, James Keegstra and others.

I wonder what the reaction in the west would be had Salman Rushdie published a holocaust revisionist book rather than The Satanic Verses. Would the press and majority of the western public be as supportive? I hardly think so!

SBG: It has been a year since the Pakistan Telecommunication Authority (PTA) instituted a blanket ban on Blogspot.com. What kind of approaches does the “Don’t Block The Blog” campaign–which was launched few days after the ban–adopt to fight against online censorship in the country? Are they technical, civil or legal approaches?

OA: As DBTB comprises only two individuals, we have been limited by the resources at our disposal and particularly restrained by time constraints, as both members of DBTB have work obligations, and do the campaign work in what ever free time they have available. We have primarily had a two-pronged approach to our campaign focus. One is to continually source by-pass proxy solutions that can help the bloggers in Pakistan access their blogs with ease, and the second is to continually maintain the awareness level of the blanket ban issue with not just the bloggers, but with media and with the more prominent Free speech and human rights organizations. In keeping with these aims, we have launched the first Pakistani Blog Aggregator to syndicate Pakistani origin blogs, including the ones that are currently being blocked. We are also planning writing competitions to promote free speech and have other ideas currently under development to ensure that freedom of expression (free speech) becomes the primary issue of concern for not just Pakistani, but also international audiences of the internet.

SBG: What is your relationship with Yasir Memon and Naveed Memon, the developers of the two proxy servers Pkblogs and Inblogs? Are they members of “Don’t Block the Blog” campaign?

OA: The Memon brothers volunteered to provide this solution for the Pakistani and Indian bloggers through the venue of DBTB and their support of free speech. They are not members of DBTB, but we communicate as needed to discuss possible ideas for prospective technical solutions to the blanket ban.

SBG: We’ve heard about the message of Dr. Awab Alvi- the co-founder of the “Don’t Block The Blog” (DBTB) campaign- to the Indian Bloggers Collective Group, and how the DBB was helping their community circumvent the government ban on blogspot.com domain. Can you tell us more about that and how it’s contributing to bridging the divides between activists and bloggers on both sides? Has any regional strategy or willingness to build an anti-censorship alliance been discussed between Pakistani and Indian bloggers?

OA: DBTB has always planned that all information or tools made available for Pakistani bloggers to by-pass a ban should be freely made available for also bloggers from other countries. India, as our neighboring country, naturally came to mind as we were aware of Indian bloggers also facing an blog access problem. Dr. Awab offered a hand of friendship and we are happy to say that the effort and the solution made available was appreciated by the India bloggers. We hope this cooperation grows and in future Indian and Pakistani bloggers work together to support the right to free speech and in course learn to respect, understand and appreciate each other better.

SBG: In the most recent update at the “Don’t Block The Blog” website, we are told that Google Inc.’s key representative has been closely following the activities of DBTB and is willing to help resolve the blanket ban. Do you really believe in the “don’t be evil” rhetoric of Google, which, after all, agreed to censor itself for China? According to a Washington Post article, Google was following the censorship issue in Pakistan since March 2006, and “has been contacting a range of individuals in Pakistan, including in the government, to determine what’s causing the unavailability of Blogspot, and to get access restored.”

OA: As mentioned earlier, DBTB is an awareness campaign promoting the rights of free speech. We are decidedly apolitical and therefore have to be as diplomatic as possible with whichever group or individual is offering to help us. We are fully aware of the Google’s involvement in free speech issues, especially in relation to other countries like China.

We provide the benefit of the doubt to those willing to offer help, even though we might personally be a little suspicious of their history. As in this case, Google contacted us and offered to help. Rather than be critical and not accept or believe their offer (as the rights of bloggers are at stake and this issue is far bigger than our own opinions), we decided to give Google the opportunity to prove their claim that they are working towards a solution. Obviously, in months to come, we shall all be able to judge Google on their promise of support by reviewing the concrete results (or lack of results) achieved by Google. What is an assurance is that we at DBTB will continue to follow up with them to assess the progress of their efforts.

You may not want to read this because it is very likely that this post will not make any sense and will probably end up sounding like a State of the Union address; full of contradictions, lies and a whole lot of condescending diatribe. If that hasn’t frightened you off yet then read on.

I am about to attempt an experiment in writing. The idea here is to start writing without having the foggiest notion of what to write about. I don’t even know what the next sentence is going to be. Some of you might claim that this is how I usually write my posts and if you think that then you are totally, utterly and unequivocally half-right. Usually, I have some idea in my head what the post will be about.but this time I haven’t a clue. I feel like George Bush.

There you go, I just decided to start a new paragraph without any forethought. It was just that spur of the moment thing to jump to the next alternate line rather than a grammatical consideration. So far this has been fun but I wonder how this will all turn out in the end. I just think I ought to change to a completely different topic rather than continue writing about what I am currently doing because it is beginning to bore me more than just a bit.

Now this new paragraph has a specific purpose as I am about to change the topic drastically. I still don’t know what it will be and I am on tenterhooks myself. A dick and a bush in the white house and we all get screwed. This is not an original line as I wrote this in an old post but why did I think of this right now? Perhaps because the television is on in the background and I can hear the news headlines, which automatically made me think of the minions of the anti-christ hell bent on destroying the earth. Do you know what COMPLAN 8022 is? I won’t provide you any reference links here so you’ll have to do your own search on the net to get the details but basically it is the US Nuclear First Strike doctrine which is now operational. Imagine for a moment, the use of mini nukes i.e. tactical nuclear weapons to attack nuclear facilities in Iran. Does anyone else see the lunacy of the plan? … or am I the only one here being paranoid? I think it might be time to change topic again because I’m beginning to piss myself off thinking about the fascists in power.

So how much does Oprah earn anyway? No! Let me not start up on her right now, as I could fill up another post with the reasons of why I don’t like her. And no, it does not have to do with how much money she has. It has to do with how much I don’t have. No, that is not true either (entirely) but I will reveal the real reasons for why I despise her in another post.

Reality Television. Eeeaaccchhhhhhhhhh Thoooooooooo!!! That pretty much covers my views on that so let’s move on to something else. Such expensive and elaborate videos to peddle such excruciatingly tasteless music - that’s MTV for you. I think my train of thought has derailed because the television is so loud it is distracting me. But then again this post has no purpose other than the experiment I am conducting at the moment, so the content of this post can be absolute drivel (which it is) and it would not matter. Hey! I just figured out why MTV works.

I’ve just decided that this shall be the last paragraph of this useless post. Why? Because I think I’d rather be reading a book. And also because the experiment has been successful as I’ve managed to produce more meaningful content in this post than most of the blogs on the net. Oooh! I’m pretty full of myself today…but then again when am I not?.

What is shown in this video is a regular occurrence but is almost never shown in the mainstream media. Unfortunately for Israel, in this case, their own media broke the rule and revealed the truth. But it is unlikely you’re going to see this on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, or BBC. Rupert Murdoch’s head would explode if Fox News ever decided to air this.

Don’t Block the Blog (DBTB) is happy to announce to the Pakistani bloggers that some serious progress has been made during the last few of days regarding the internet censorship (blogspot ban ) issue in Pakistan.

Google Inc.’s key representative (Policy Analyst) has been in direct contact with DBTB members in reference to the blogspot ban. We were informed that Google has been closely following the activities of DBTB and our efforts to address the issue of the blanket ban, and it strongly supports the cause of the Pakistani bloggers.

During the exchange of emails, Omer Alvie provided a detailed picture on the history of the ban, along with highlighting the collective efforts of DBTB and Pakistani bloggers to fight this unfair blanket ban. Additionally, the serious problems regarding the new version of Blogger.com were also highlighted, along with requesting a more direct and concrete support from Google in helping resolve the current blogspot censorship issue and providing continued support for the cause of free speech in Pakistan.

In reference to our request and direct communication with Google, DBTB was contacted by the appointed representative of Google in Pakistan. Dr. Awab Alvi had a detailed meeting with the representative reiterating the need to address the Pakistani bloggers’ concerns regarding the blanket ban with the appropriate government authorities. DBTB was informed that a direct meeting with the Ministry of Information and Technology has been set up for Monday the 19th of February, in which the Google (Pak) representative will force this issue to light and hopefully work towards resolving the unfair blanket ban issue once and for all.

In addition, Dr. Awab also reminded the Google Representative, that in the meantime, it would best to get direct involvement from Google in configuring the pkblogs and inblogs proxy servers to be better at handling the recent upgrade to the new blogger version.

Although the DBTB team remains optimistic with the recent developments and the direct involvement of Google Inc. to help resolve the blanket ban issue, we are also aware of the political machinations within our government which could mean that the process for a permanent resolution to the ban problem will be a slow one.

We at DBTB stand determined to continue our efforts in this regard, and hope to update you as soon as we are informed of any concrete solutions or resolutions to the blog censorship issue.
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Update 21st February: Unfortunately, the proposed meeting of the Google Rep and the government representative did not take place as scheduled. Still, I remain cautiously optimistic about Google’s offer to help even if it is for no other reason than just to be positive ;).

Google has committed itself by claiming that they are willing and able to help our cause. Time will be the best judge of their performance. Let’s see if they are, or are not able to provide concrete solutions to solve the blogspot ban issue. What I can assure you of is that we at DBTB will continue to follow up with Google to check up on their progress and remind them of their commitment us.

In the meantime, we continue our work to source our own solutions to the problem and will continue highlighting the issue of the blanket ban, along with promoting the issue of free speech on the internet in general.

Are you in the mood for a Julie Andrews song? Well I am not, so you’ll just have to settle for this:

Sung to the tune of My favourite Things

Bomb drops on ‘targets’ and suicide bombing the masses
Imperialist dogma and alleged sectarian clashes
Anthrax laced packages tied up with strings
These aren’t a few of my favorite things
Sold out mainstream media and brain dead sheeple
Kidnapping and detention and ‘rendition’ of people
Fascists that think they are leaders or kings
These aren’t a few of my favorite things
Skinheads in white robes with swastika sashes
Govt. cameras that continuously spy on the masses
Manufactured intelligence and the invasion it brings
These aren’t a few of my favorite things
Again they talk war, again they sell fear, and I think “what the f*#k?”
Now there’s no use hiding in a bunker but I wish us all good luck!

[rinse and repeat]

From Bush To Ahmedinejad

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Before next valentine,
I’m bombing you.

From Ahmedinejad to Bush:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
As soon as your term is over,
the ICC is coming after you.

From War On Terror to Terrorism

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You can’t do without me
and I can’t do with you.

From Ossama to Bush:

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’m going straight to hell,
and there’s a place reserved for you too!

From Hillary Clinton to Israel

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
If Bush won’t attack Iran,
Make me win in ‘08, I’ll do it for you!

From Al Gore to the Bush Administration

Roses are red,
Voilets are blue,
Global warming is real,
Get ready for Katrina II.

From the Bloggers to the Mainstream media

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You’re not doing your job,
So we’re doing it for you.

From the Public to the Imperialists bastards and the Terrorists gits

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
We abhor your existence because you always end up murdering innocent people, you coward pieces of Yak excrement. You are both too stupid to realize that your ideologies are flawed and you will never win! And we realize that this one does not rhyme and in fact this whole post is lame but the author couldn’t be buggered and he hates this bloody generic, commercially sponsored, card-giving, chocolate-eating valentine’s day anyway!

From the horse’s (although I can think of another appropriate animal term in this case) mouth:

Read it and smile with satisfaction, as what most have suspected comes out accidently during a heated debate between Netanyahu and Olmert. Although it is an accusation, there’s more truth to this than we could all possibly know.

Olmert replied, “Netanyahu has gone back to being the same old Netanyahu,” and accused him of directly contributing to strengthening the Hamas movement by releasing the movement’s founder, Sheikh Ahmad Yassin, during his term as prime minister.

“Netanyahu established Hamas, gave it life, freed Sheikh Yassin and gave him the opportunity to blossom,” he said, adding that the current political situation in the Palestinian Authority came about “because of the nonsense that was done while Netanyahu was prime minister.”

Source is here

This is not the first time Olmert inserted his large foot in his mouth. He previously admitted that Israel possessed nuclear weapons. The man seems to be on a roll…if this continues, he will let out all state secrets.

Senator Hillary Clinton, the U.S Sentator from New York running for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination, addressing the American Israeli Public Affair’s Committee:

[My comments are in bold]

” … That is why we stand with Israel because it is a beacon of democracy
in the region [This sentence just guaranteed her at least five million dollars towards her presidential campaign contribution]; that is why we stand with Israel because its very existence is a defiant affront to anti-Semitism [human rights and international rule of law]; that is why we stand with Israel because in defeating terror [it actually does nothing except incite it by the actions of the IDF] because Israel’s cause is our cause [Kaching! That sentence just added 20 million dollars into her presidential campaign kitty]. And that is why we stand with Israel because of our shared values and our shared belief in the dignity of men and women and the right to live without fear or oppression [except for the Palestinians who obviously don't exist for either Hillary or for the Israeli leaders]. And what we must do is to think rationally and strategically about how our values, our beliefs can be translated into effective action. [Bomb the hell out of Iran] It is not enough for us to say the right things; we’ve got to be smart and tough enough to do the right things that will protect American and Israeli interests now and forever. [Correction: Attack Iran, Syria, Lebanon - oh, heck! the whole of the Middle East while we are at it]”

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Let me now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, while I go vomit violently into a sick bag.

US-Led forces show evidence of Iranian Arms in Iraq

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - U.S.-led forces presented on Sunday what officials said was “a growing body of evidence” of Iran made arms being used in Iraq. The following image was provided by the US Intel. as proof.