ATTACK ON IRAN
Interviewer: Mr. President, is the U.S. Planning to attack Iran?
The President: We are not planning to attack Iran, but all options are on the table.
Interviewer: But Mr. President, during your 10th January speech, you mentioned Iran six times!
The President: Of course! Iran is a threat to the region. Ahmedinadinadinadinajaad is building nuclear weapons over there.
Interviewer: Yes, but the speech was about the civil war situation in Iraq.
The President: Was it? … really? Yes, well, uhmm…. ahh.
Interviewer: I think your earpiece fell out Mr. President.
The President: Oh sh*t! No wonder I couldn’t hear the lines to answer you. Wait a second, let me put put it back in. Ah! that’s better. Yes, well Iran is directly involved in creating the civil war situation in Iraq.
Interviewer: So are you planning to order an attack on Iran?
The President: We are not planning to attack Iran, but all tables are on the option.
Interviewer: But the recent moves by the US navy, specifically the positioning of aircraft carriers in the Persian Gulf, points to an attack on Iran.
The President: We are not planning to attack the tables, but all the options are on Iran.
Interviewer: But it is clear that Israeli prime minister, sees the attack on Iran as a as necessity because he classifies Iran as the biggest threat to Israel, even though Prime Minister Olmert himself accidently admitted in public that Israel possesses nuclear weapons.
The President: We are not planning to option Iran, but all tables are on the attack.
Interviewer: Even the most prominent neo-conservative members of your party are now beating the war drums for Iran.
The President: We are not planning to table all the options, but the attack is on Iran.
Interviewer: Aha!! so you admit it.
The President: No wait! … I didn’t mean to say that….yet.
Interviewer: So how do you plan to drum up support for the attack?
The President: Wait for it.
Interviewer: Wait for what?
The President: Shhh!!…wait and listen.
[[[[[[ [[[[[ [[[[ [[[ [[KABOOOOM!!!!!!]] ]]] ]]]] ]]]]] ]]]]]]
The President: There’s the support I need. Now no other option is on the table BUT to attack Iran.
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Disclaimer: This is a fictional account of what could actually turn out to be the reasoning of a future, non-fictional event.
22 Comments so far
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I love your humor but am terrified that you are spot on. We up here in Canada have followed your presidents lead all the way to Afghanistan and as a result our streets are flooded with cheap Afghani heroin. If we stay in line what can we expect to receive in return from Iran? Michael Hoover
http://www.olivernewsweekly.com
It has always been about Iran. Ever since Jimmy Carter was President. But unless Bush drafts the boy scouts, there are not enough boots on the ground to mount a ground offensive in Iran. Air strikes are counter-productive. They will earn world enmity and not take out the Iranian nuclear facilities. So no matter how much Bush may want to smack Iran, it ain’t gonna happen on his watch. Perhaps when President Hillary gets in office though, it might be doable.
Calling Bush an Asshole is wrong.
An Asshole serves a useful purpose.
this was fiction? i could have sworn this is exactly what i hear on Fox news every day… Let’s hope it doesn’t come to be.. although what purpose such hope serves in the presence of hollow headed ijuts who only know how to play war and on their own terms, i don’t know..
2 carrier groups in the Gulf and no intention to wage war ?
This man Bush has publically stated that “God” told him to attack Afganistan and Irak and he did so. Now “God”, in the form of Olmert, is telling him to attack Iran. Unless he is stopped soon he will kill again.
Great narration - I agree with Jaded it sounds just like the president doing an interview live on Fox with Bill Oreily. You are spot on we may actually have a live rendition very soon.
I hope not but our fingers remain crossed
Are you sure these conversations didn’t already happen? Seriously, Iraq is the beginning. As the army attacks Iraq, the US gov’t erodes rights at home by opening mail, suspending habeas corpus, stealing private lands, banning books like “America Deceived” from Amazon, rigging elections, conducting warrantless wiretaps and starting 2 illegal wars based on lies. Soon, another US false-flag operation will occur (sinking of an Aircraft Carrier) and the US will invade Iran, (on behalf of Israel). Then these conversations will be all too real.
Final link (before Google Books bends to gov’t demands and censors the title):
http://www.iuniverse.com/bookstore/book_detail.asp?&isbn=0-595-38523-0
Can you say “Waterloo”? I knew you could. I’m from Texas and we can’t stand him either
3 count’em 3 Carrier Groups in the region….Iran’s holding war games in the Gulf..Russia has invested a billion dollars and scientists on Irans nuclear program….I can’t see Putin stand on the sidelines and let this happen….
…but then again, those SS22 Sunburn missles at Mach 3 will have 50 US warships to lock in on….
the AGEIS system vs Mach 3 at 40 ft.
Hey America !!! Israel ain’t DONE with you, NOT YET!
your mate gw wmd is in charge and he knows that he can do whatever he wants,god said it was all good and we all know what a ledgend he is.so by george or by god we are all in for a fun time who is going to help us.we can’t say god because he’s sitting on his hands in your congress.i’m in australia and i’m shiting myself,ihate to think what all you people must be feeling.bring on the revoloution and get gw wmd and his mates out of power befor he kills millions.
We knew all along that George was just a normal guy with the memory bank needing a new battery..
He wil go down in history as???…he will just go down in history..he will just go down..he will just go..he will..Hope to God he does…battery dead
Troedyrhiw
ps..Very good Monty Python indeed
Cook i feel the same way you do, for the world has become mad.
Here is a good site from Australia if you are interested.
http://barabie.blogspot.com/
Spot on the dot Omer. As always, of course.
How can any one miss the irony of an acute case of stunted growth being made incharge of the most awesome military machine on earth, is what I keep wondering.
This man needs to be put into a straitjacket not only to save us all from his shenanigans, but to save him from his own self too.
Someone hand me the sick bag please.
God must be pretty mad with you Mr. Bushl for dragging His good name to attack and destroy a country and its people. Thats why every plan that you proposed for Iraq was well and truly disposed by God. Once again lies and more damned lies are spewing out from your mouth about Iran. A wise man learns from his mistakes and we know that you are not and that scares the shit out of most of
us.
Does Israel get to sink the carrier?
We’ll do a better job this time around. Got a better punch.
Yours truly
Abes
*tsk tsk* and they said that holocaust was the darkest period in time…..and that we learn from history.
thanks for that.good read.i see freedom to fascism just hit number 4 on google video,scary movie should be in schools.
We attack them, they attack us, we get Martial Law, they get atomic dust, We revolt, we get new government. No big deal. Relax it’s cool! Shalom. Jaye
that was a great post and a perfect conversation like everyone else said. its spot on.
great work, as usual.
The United States of America is responsible for the civil war like situation in Afghanistan and it also has nuclear weapons.
So, when are the US Air Force’s fighter jets going to start bombing Washington DC?