the olive ream

X: Psst! Did you see this story in the newspaper?

Y: Yes, I did. Another ‘alleged’ terrorist arrested attempting to blow-up a building.

X: Say, are you a Pakinisian?

Y: No I am not a Pakistani, but I am of Arab origin, if that’s what you meant.

X: Don’t it bother you that so many Moslems are dying in Iraq?

Y: Yes it does but it isn’t just Iraq.

X: You must do something about it.

Y: Like what?

X: Take some action, buddy!

Y: I do protest by writing my opinions on a few websites and…

X: Nobody reads that! You must take action. You must retaliate against what is happening to you Moslems.

Y: Retaliate? You mean protest on the streets against the government?!

X: No, no! What good would that do? Plus, you could get arrested for doing that these days.

Y: So what are you suggesting?

X: You know, blow some stuff up…it’ll get you the attention.

Y: Ah! I see, well…let me just say that you might have mistaken me for an escapee from the mental asylum but I assure you I am not. In fact, I will go further to suggest that you commit yourself in an institution.

X: Oh, c’mon! Do it! Do it for your Moslem brothers and sisters. Here, I’ve got details instructions on the ‘How To’ in these notes, in Arabic. I’ll just stuff this in your bagpack.

Y: Piss off! … and stop sniffing diesel oil, it’s killing your brain cells.

X: I’ve got these blue-prints for various prominent locations and I…

Y: Go sell crazy to someone else. In fact, let me direct you to the Department of Homeland Security. They desperately need loons like you to parade on television.

X: Well, how about some bags of fertilizer I have stored in my warehouse. I can give those to you and other household items to build your self some dangerous explosive and then you..

Y: I don’t need bags of fertilizer from you!! There’s enough bullshit coming out of your mouth to fertilize most of Wyoming. Now, leave!

X: Listen brother. I’ve already have you assigned as a leader to our yet undisclosed organization. I’ve been following you for months, and by the way, the instructions, blue prints, 80 bags of fertilizer and 8 large thin crust pizzas are being delivered to your home as we speak.

Y: Who the hell are you?!

X: I am undercover officer of the Anti-Terror squad, and you my friend, are under arrest!

Y: WTF?! What for?!

X: For being the leader of an evil terror organization that was planning to attack prominent landmarks and we have the evidence to prove it, as it has just been delivered to your home.

Y: This is a bloody set-up!! I want to call my lawyer..

X: You don’t get a lawyer, remember? You are classified as ‘enemy combatant’. Now do me a favor, just keep your mouth shut and don’t shave for the next few days because we’ve got the PR press photos planned for this bust for Tuesday and we need you looking evil and beardy.

Y: Sigh.

X: Don’t sulk. You’ll be famous. You might even be qualified as so dangerous that DHS will shift the threat level up one category and that is something you can be really proud of.

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Inspired by this

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