the olive ream

For the ignorant and uninitiated.

Cool Facts About Israel

And now, the Not So Cool Facts About Israel

“I before E except after C” is a mnemonic device that helps me remember the rule for spelling certain words in the English language, such as deceive and siege when I’m describing the actions of the Bush Administration. There’s also a less known memory aid which I qualify as “I before SY when preceded by a ‘Hypo’ “. This writing standard helps formulate the word hypocrisy, which describes the current global, rather repugnant, political status quo.

Allow me to pontificate on the absurdity of their logic. A South Vietnamese student goes on a murderous rampage on a college campus and he is to be seen as ‘deranged psychopath’ (and rightly so). A neocon led army goes on a murderous rampage in sovereign nation and we are supposed to classify that as ’spreading peace and democracy’. That’s rather an absurd logic, don’t you think? Skewed so far off course, you can’t even see its connection to reality.

18 british sailors accused of spying, are detained for two weeks by Iranian authorities. They suffer severe torture for two strenuous weeks. Initially blindfolded and then isolated they are then further tormented by being well fed, given cigarette breaks, allowed to lounge around and play table tennis and board games, given new suits to wear and then finally released after receiving a gift bag each. We (the public) are then expected to sympathize with the tremendous suffering of these 18 admitted spies (according to the Sky News) who vacationed in Iran for a fortnight and then released to make money by selling their stories.

Along with the detention of the alleged Al Qaeda, Taliban and the frightfully dangerous Al Jazeera News channel reporter currently being held in indefinite detention at Guantanamo Bay, there are unknown number of world citizenry who have been kidnapped and ‘renditioned’ by CIA or their approved proxy agents under the umbrella of ‘War on Terror’. There are no signs of their release or an end to their REAL torture (as apposed to what the british sailors suffered). Any one in the world can be classified an ‘enemy combatant’ and suffer indefinite detention and torture, but we are all expected to feel safe because the sanctimonious saviors of this world are busy fighting EVIL and we should not disturb them. Our only responsibility here is to acquiesce when they come to unlawfully abduct us. Apparently, the meek shall not be inheriting the earth. We were misinformed.

We are all expected to support the right of others to voice their opinions on politics, race, religion, culture, etc. in order to ensure our own right to free speech. We should also be tolerant of criticism and ridicule of our own faith, as we cannot expect everyone to conform to our own religious norms and tenets. (And yes, I am referring specifically to the case of the religious caricatures in the mainstream media which caused a furor in many countries. Geez! People really need to chill out if South Park lampoons Tom Cruise and Scientology.) This point is key if you truly believe in free speech and freedom of expression. BUT, what you cannot be allowed to do (currently in Germany and Austria and soon to be applied to the rest of the EU and even the US) is to deny, question or revise (the facts about) the Holocaust. This is the one and only free speech issue most of the western media and even some activists groups I imagine, are really truly afraid of touching. Can u imagine what would have happened had Salman Rushdie written a holocaust revisionist book instead of the Satanic Verses. The darling of the British media would be rotting in some European jail without any complaints from the English press. Personally, I do not deny the holocaust and I think what happened was horrific to say the least, and Hitler was completely off his trolley, BUT I don’t want any country that criminalizes the discussion, revision or denial of the holocaust to claim to be a complete supporter of free speech – ever! Because that is just a lorry load of horse excrement!

Religious extremist groups generally lack the ability to recognize their own hypocrisy when it comes to human rights. They desperately complain and start rioting if you don’t allow them to exercise their (self-anointed) privilege to infringe on the rights of others. They couldn’t spot the ‘irony’ if it came and bit them on their gluteus maximus. After much contemplation, I’ve come to the conclusion; it is pointless to argue with them because they lack the requisite amount of brain cells and having seven or eight will just not do. I’m sorry!

And of course, there’s the pretentious bunch of so called ‘professional’ media and broadcast journalists who routinely question the abilities of bloggers to tell the truth, while the same lot (CNN, New York Times, The Associated Press, UPI and many other agencies) ran propagandist disinformation news stories courtesy the Office of Strategic Influence (which should have been appropriately called Department of Shoveling Sh*t). All these news stories were uncorroborated but the media published them anyway. So the next time you (as a blogger) gets questioned by the likes of Wolf Blitzer from CNN, you have the right to attack his journalistic integrity by kneeing him in the groin.

And here’s something even more asinine:
- US = 10,000 nuclear warheads
- Israel = 100 plus nuclear warheads (conservative est.)
- Iran = 0 nuclear warheads (currently)
And guess who is being classified as the biggest threat to the world? I’m sure you know the answer to that one. They further claim that Ahmedinajad is actually what makes Iran more dangerous, which supposedly justifies their covert attempts (by CIA and Mossad) to bring regime change in Iran. Excuse me?! Has anyone considered the other two geniuses (Bush and Olmert) in question in this current political stand-off ? Surely, by all rational, logical and factual reasoning, a regime change is far more desperately needed in the US and Israel.

The truth is, like you, I am severely frustrated by this growing hypocrisy. It started as like a small pimple but now this uncontrollable blemish has blossomed into a festering boil on the backside of humanity. And who is to blame? The current crop of fascist leaders. And by the way, they don’t give a damn about any of this. If you questioned them now, Bush would show you the finger and Cheney would signal you as a “Loser”. Don’t believe me?

Here’s proof:

The US Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is setting up its new HQ in a former lunatic Asylum. The move seems rather appropriate as most of the DHS senior management happen to be former residents of the institution anyway….. or so it seems to me. Anyhow, I’m sure they shall all feel right at home.

Scientists create a sheep that is 15% human. Professor Esmail Zanjani, of the University of Nevada, has spent the past 7 years and five million pounds perfecting the technique. The Republican Party has declared the sheep as their official presidential candidate for the elections of 2008, as it possesses the same biological make-up as the current president of the United States, (although they do admit that the sheep possesses a higher IQ).

Israeli officer sells weapons to terrorists in Iraq. The Iraqi sources announced earlier that terrorist attacks in Iraq were backed by the intelligence agencies of CIA and Mossad and the secret agents of Iraqi former regime. They also declared that the sky is blue and the grass is green. The Iraqi sources possess an uncanny knack for pointing out the obvious.

Name that war – Your chance to rewrite Israeli history. A ministerial committee met recently, in essence, to declare war. Eight months in arrears. Apparently Ehud Olmert, apart from all his other screw-ups, also forgot to officially declare war last July. The first Lebanon war was classified ‘Operation Peace for Galilee’, so they’ve decided to call this one ‘Operation Massively Underestimate Hezbollah And Suffer A Humiliating Ass Kicking That The Whole World Collectively Laughs At’.

Cadets express unwillingness to remember the holocaust. The Berliner Zeitung reported that an entire class of German police cadets expressed their unwillingness to remember the Holocaust, during a compulsory class that dealt with the Nazi regime. Well, it finally happened, repetition, reminders, reiteration of the holocaust topic has finally resulted in a group finally becoming indifferent to the issue. As punishment, all cadets have had to have their foreheads tattooed with the words, “Ask me about the holocaust – you know you want to!”

US can’t account for 600,000 fugitives. Teams assigned to make sure foreigners ordered out of the United States actually leave have a backlog of more than 600,000 cases and can’t accurately account for the fugitives’ whereabouts, the government reported Monday. Representative of the DHS said, “We’re pretty sure they are all harmless, and the public should not be concerned about these fugitives. Besides, we haven’t got time with all the illegal spying we have to do on the general populace to ensure we track and silence all voices of dissent.”

Cheney funds Al Qaeda and no one cares. Seymour Hersh’s recent report that Iran-Contra veterans working out of Dick Cheney’s office are using stolen funds from Iraq to arm al Qaeda-tied groups and foment a larger Sunni-Shia war is a big deal. Fox News Anchor responded by saying, “No, it is not! Britney Spears shaving her head, now that IS a big deal!”

Rice urges Egypt to reform its Democracy. “I’ve made my concerns known, as well as my hopes, for continued reform here in Egypt,” Rice told a news conference. Condeelaza Rice is the Secretary of State of the United States. The same United States responsible for promoting democracy in Guantanamo Bay, the Abu Ghraib prison, CIA rendition cells, etc. Upon hearing the comment from Rice, Egyptian President, Hosni Mubarak said, “I laughed so hard, a little pee came out.”

14 year old sentenced to 7 years for shoving a school hall monitor. “I am a 14-year-old black freshman who shoved a hall monitor at Paris High School in a dispute over entering the building before the school day had officially begun and was sentenced to 7 years in prison.” The sentence was the decision of the Lamar County judge Chuck Superville. Chuck also warned future offenders that, “sneezing will get you 5 years, and breaking wind in the general direction of a public servant will warrant a sentence of 9 years in a federal penitentiary.”

Americans don’t mind torture. To the amazement of the audience, (Senator) Graham said, with a twinkle in his eye, that “Americans don’t mind torture, they really don’t.” Asked to justify his claim, Senator Graham replied, “Of course they don’t mind torture, they’ve been watching Fox News for years!”

What is shown in this video is a regular occurrence but is almost never shown in the mainstream media. Unfortunately for Israel, in this case, their own media broke the rule and revealed the truth. But it is unlikely you’re going to see this on ABC, NBC, CBS, CNN, or BBC. Rupert Murdoch’s head would explode if Fox News ever decided to air this.

From the horse’s (although I can think of another appropriate animal term in this case) mouth:

Read it and smile with satisfaction, as what most have suspected comes out accidently during a heated debate between Netanyahu and Olmert. Although it is an accusation, there’s more truth to this than we could all possibly know.

Olmert replied, “Netanyahu has gone back to being the same old Netanyahu,” and accused him of directly contributing to strengthening the Hamas movement by releasing the movement’s founder, Sheikh Ahmad Yassin, during his term as prime minister.

“Netanyahu established Hamas, gave it life, freed Sheikh Yassin and gave him the opportunity to blossom,” he said, adding that the current political situation in the Palestinian Authority came about “because of the nonsense that was done while Netanyahu was prime minister.”

Source is here

This is not the first time Olmert inserted his large foot in his mouth. He previously admitted that Israel possessed nuclear weapons. The man seems to be on a roll…if this continues, he will let out all state secrets.

Senator Hillary Clinton, the U.S Sentator from New York running for the 2008 Democratic presidential nomination, addressing the American Israeli Public Affair’s Committee:

[My comments are in bold]

” … That is why we stand with Israel because it is a beacon of democracy
in the region [This sentence just guaranteed her at least five million dollars towards her presidential campaign contribution]; that is why we stand with Israel because its very existence is a defiant affront to anti-Semitism [human rights and international rule of law]; that is why we stand with Israel because in defeating terror [it actually does nothing except incite it by the actions of the IDF] because Israel’s cause is our cause [Kaching! That sentence just added 20 million dollars into her presidential campaign kitty]. And that is why we stand with Israel because of our shared values and our shared belief in the dignity of men and women and the right to live without fear or oppression [except for the Palestinians who obviously don't exist for either Hillary or for the Israeli leaders]. And what we must do is to think rationally and strategically about how our values, our beliefs can be translated into effective action. [Bomb the hell out of Iran] It is not enough for us to say the right things; we’ve got to be smart and tough enough to do the right things that will protect American and Israeli interests now and forever. [Correction: Attack Iran, Syria, Lebanon - oh, heck! the whole of the Middle East while we are at it]”

—
Let me now return you to your regularly scheduled programming, while I go vomit violently into a sick bag.

Interviewer: Mr. President, is the U.S. Planning to attack Iran?

The President: We are not planning to attack Iran, but all options are on the table.

Interviewer: But Mr. President, during your 10th January speech, you mentioned Iran six times!

The President: Of course! Iran is a threat to the region. Ahmedinadinadinadinajaad is building nuclear weapons over there.

Interviewer: Yes, but the speech was about the civil war situation in Iraq.

The President: Was it? … really? Yes, well, uhmm…. ahh.

Interviewer: I think your earpiece fell out Mr. President.

The President: Oh sh*t! No wonder I couldn’t hear the lines to answer you. Wait a second, let me put put it back in. Ah! that’s better. Yes, well Iran is directly involved in creating the civil war situation in Iraq.

Interviewer: So are you planning to order an attack on Iran?

The President: We are not planning to attack Iran, but all tables are on the option.

Interviewer: But the recent moves by the US navy, specifically the positioning of aircraft carriers in the Persian Gulf, points to an attack on Iran.

The President: We are not planning to attack the tables, but all the options are on Iran.

Interviewer: But it is clear that Israeli prime minister, sees the attack on Iran as a as necessity because he classifies Iran as the biggest threat to Israel, even though Prime Minister Olmert himself accidently admitted in public that Israel possesses nuclear weapons.

The President: We are not planning to option Iran, but all tables are on the attack.

Interviewer: Even the most prominent neo-conservative members of your party are now beating the war drums for Iran.

The President: We are not planning to table all the options, but the attack is on Iran.

Interviewer: Aha!! so you admit it.

The President: No wait! … I didn’t mean to say that….yet.

Interviewer: So how do you plan to drum up support for the attack?

The President: Wait for it.

Interviewer: Wait for what?

The President: Shhh!!…wait and listen.

[[[[[[ [[[[[ [[[[ [[[ [[KABOOOOM!!!!!!]] ]]] ]]]] ]]]]] ]]]]]]

The President: There’s the support I need. Now no other option is on the table BUT to attack Iran.
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Disclaimer: This is a fictional account of what could actually turn out to be the reasoning of a future, non-fictional event.

Please take the time out to watch this video. It is essential that you do (if you haven’t already).

This documentary is 3 years old, and what is happening in Gaza and Westbank now is far worse. While the world’s attention (recently) has been focused on Israel’s actions in Lebanon, the IDF have been busy attacking Gaza, destroying homes, murdering innocent civilians and arresting people.

The Israeli authorities have taken full advantage of the ignorance, apathy and indifference of the world to the plight of the Palestinians. This is apartheid and ethnic cleansing at its worst.

We become party to it if we remain ignorant, stay silent and dont make the effort of informing others to what is going on.
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Peace, Propaganda & the Promised Land provides a striking comparison of U.S. and international media coverage of the crisis in the Middle East, zeroing in on how structural distortions in U.S. coverage have reinforced false perceptions of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. This pivotal documentary exposes how the foreign policy interests of American political elites–oil, and a need to have a secure military base in the region, among others–work in combination with Israeli public relations strategies to exercise a powerful influence over how news from the region is reported.

Through the voices of scholars, media critics, peace activists, religious figures, and Middle East experts, Peace, Propaganda & the Promised Land carefully analyzes and explains how–through the use of language, framing and context–the Israeli occupation of the West Bank and Gaza remains hidden in the news media, and Israeli colonization of the occupied terrorities appears to be a defensive move rather than an offensive one. The documentary also explores the ways that U.S. journalists, for reasons ranging from intimidation to a lack of thorough investigation, have become complicit in carrying out Israel’s PR campaign. At its core, the documentary raises questions about the ethics and role of journalism, and the relationship between media and politics.

Ring ….Ring….Ring..

Ehud: Uh! …who the f*ck!? Hello!?

Bush: Yo, E-hood!

Ehud: For shit sake George, it’s f*cking 3 in the morning! What do you want now!?

Bush: I just wanted to know how many Hezbollites did you kill today? You’ve been conducting an awful lot of bombing there in Lebanon.

Ehud: Let me think. umm….on last count, according to IDF reports, I think that the figure is about 300.

Bush: I mean unofficially. How many did you really get? … for real.

Ehud: Haven’t a clue, buddy. Probably none. I think we got most that have heard of Hezbollah. We just bomb indiscriminately in hopes we hit a few.

Bush: Ah! The same way we target Al Qaeda.

Ehud: Exactly. But who’s checking anyway, we can claim as many as we want.

Bush: True. So how long do you think you will carry on with this attack?

Ehud: George, you’ve got to be kidding me! We effing planned this thing months back, with your participation and support, remember? You know the plan, right?!

Bush: Of course!… actually, what was it again?

Ehud: Oh, for your Christ’s sake George, for the goddamn last time, we started up with Lebanon in order to go after Syria, so we can finally hit Iran. How many times must you be reminded of this?! Condi is planning to get this whole plan tattooed on your ass so you don’t forget.

Bush: Yeah, but then I’ll never be able to see it.

Ehud: So, how much shit are you getting at home for this?

Bush: Not much. Pretty much all the God-fearing, Christ-loving Americans support me on this. Just a few Satan lovers are complaining.

Ehud: I know what you mean. We have a few complainers here as well. Unfortunately, my own daughter turned out to be one of them.

Bush: My daughters are too obsessed with partying to even notice. Thank you Jesus for the Paris Hilton syndrome.

Ehud: So the press pretty much bought everything we are selling.

Bush: Yeah, poor bastards. Muahaha.

Ehud: Well, the IDF is forming the “Red Line” along both sides of the Litani River, east to west. We’ll grab 2, 3, or even more miles wide zone for the international force to be deployed later.

Bush: Yeah, but not for too long dude, we’ll need it later for the attack on Syria and then Iran. I propose we might as well get the International Force to build a runway there for our purposes.

Ehud: Good, great, wonderful idea! Did you think that one up yourself? Why don’t you speak to Kofi about that first thing in the morning.

Bush: Sure. I’d be happy to bring this up….

Ehud: I was being sarcastic George!

Bush: Oh?!

Ehud: I think, now that we’ve finally started what we’ve been planning and dreaming about all this time, we might as well go for it. I mean go all out and not stop.

Bush: I know what you mean. This thing is perfect! Nobody is paying that much attention to the mess we created in Iraq. I mean, we’re seriously getting our asses kicked because we really have no control.

Ehud: This thing is perfect for me because the whole world is watching and bitching about Lebanon, while we destroy Gaza quietly in bits and pieces.

Bush: Genius! By the way, any news of the Israeli soldiers?

Ehud: Which Israeli soldiers?

Bush: The ones that were abducted by Hezbollites.

Ehud: Oh, yeah! …forget about them totally. Yeah, no news…but then again, we aren’t really looking for them, are we? We’re too busy bombing the crap out of Lebanon. Muahahaha. They were just the trigger we used to start it all. Even the idiot press have stopped asking about them.

Bush: Hey, haven’t you got the photos of the three Israeli soldiers on your desk?

Ehud: Sure do, for PR purposes of course. So what photos do you have on your desk?

Bush: I have the pictures of the missing WMDs we were supposed to find in Iraq.