the olive ream

Brazilian cartoonist, Carlos Latuff’s commentary is impeccable and always a treat. His courage and willingness to portray the truth (through his work) makes his art stand out far above the rest in his field. The statement on his blog reads, “All of my artworks published in this blog are COPYLEFT. You are strongly encouraged to forward them to people and reproduce them in your website/magazine/bulletin/poster/t-shirt/etc.”

Here’s a tiny sample of his work. I now have a new hero…

His blog is here and his gallery is here.

Note: Share his work with others, but please make sure the artist is given due credit by providing a link to his web sites.

Dear Omer,

I’m writing on behalf of the American Public Broadcasting Service (PBS) documentary series FRONTLINE/World. I think that you and the readers of Olive Ream will be interested in FRONTLINE/World™s new 20-minute documentary Pakistan: State of Emergency, now live on our website. The story investigates Maulana Fazlullah, the young Taliban cleric waging war against the Pakistani government in the beautiful valley of Swat. The story includes the events of November 3rd and Benazir Bhutto’s assasination, and also features interviews with Aitzaz Ahsan, his son Ali, and renowned Pakistani journalist and writer Ahmed Rashid.

The documentary broadcast in the U.S. last night, but you can watch the full video on our site, where you’ll also find extended interviews, background information and an interview with the reporter. You and your readers can post comments on the site, and we hope to hear what you think: http://www.pbs.org/frontlineworld/stories/pakistan703/

More about the story:

Swat is a place off-limits to most Western journalists, but reporter David Montero met this mysterious and ruthless Pakistani Taliban leader last spring. Montero also met the moderate local politician who tried to stop Fazlullah – Asfandiar Amir Zeb, the prince of Swat.

Amir Zeb was assassinated in a car bombing a day after the assassination of Benazir Bhutto shocked the world. Montero returned to the Swat Valley to find out what Amir Zebs death meant to the region, and to report on the Army’s belated efforts to fight the Taliban as suicide bombings spread throughout Pakistan.

The story, reported by David Montero as a joint project with the Christian Science Monitor, sheds light on the connection between Musharraf’s lax approach to Taliban militants and his recent crackdown on lawyers and the judiciary.

Thanks for watching, and for sharing on your blog.

XXXXX XXXXXX
PBS FRONTLINE/World

http://www.pbs.org/frontlineworld

Hello, boys and girls! Are you all in a festive mood this season? Well, sing along to this one…

Deck the innocent with bombs of folly
Hell la la la la, hell la la la,
‘Tis their reason to be jolly,
Hell la la la la, hell la la la,

Don their camouflaged gay apparel,
Hell la la, hell la la, hell la la la,
They’ll blame fanatics, so you’ll cry, “peril!”
Hell la la la la, hell la la la,

See them sell their lies before us,
Hell la la la la, hell la la la,
Sold out media will join the chorus,
Hell la la la la, hell la la la,

Corporate backing in considerable measure,
Hell la la, hell la la, hell la la la,
Destroy a nation to loot their treasure
Hell la la la la, hell la la la,

Detention, torture or death all passes,
Hell la la la la, hell la la la,
By arresting the truth-tellers, brainwashing the masses,
Hell la la, hell la la, hell la la la,

Sing the fascist bastards, all together:
Hell la la la la, hell la la la,
“All hail the profitable war on terror!”
Hell la la la la, hell la la la.

MARY KWEZMAZ and a jolly good rogering to you all!

Received this in an email, so I thought I’d share it…
I’ve sent in my application
—

Following are the inducements for Member of National Assembly (MNAs) in Pakistan:

Salary & Govt. Concessions for a Member of NATIONAL ASSEMBLY (MNA):

Monthly Salary : Rs. 120,000 to 200,000
Expense for Constitution per month : Rs.100,000
Office expenditure per month : Rs.140,000
Travelling concession (Rs. 8 per km) : Rs.48,000 (For a visit to Islamabad & return: 6000 km)
Daily BETA during Assembly meets : Rs.500
Charges for 1 class (A/C) in train : Free (For any number of times & All over PAKISTAN)
Charges for Business Class in flights : Free for 40 trips / year (With wife or P.A.)
Rent for Govt hostel any where : Free
Electricity costs at home : Free up to 50,000 units
Local phone call charges : Free up to 170,000 calls.
TOTAL expense for a MNA per year : Rs. 32,000,000 (approx.)
TOTAL expense for 5 years per MNA : Rs. 160,000,000

For 534 MNAs, the expense for 5 years : Rs. 85,440,000,000 (about 9000 crores)

Think of the Great Democracy we have…….. & Great Politicians……………

*** PLEASE FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO ALL CITIZENS OF PAKISTAN…….Before Elections 2008 so that everybody can apply for post of MNA

Dear Mr./President/General Musharraf,

The War On Terror Executive Committee is pleased to present you with your exclusive WOT Privilege Card, to be used at your discretion.

As a member of this elite club, this card allows you innumerable benefits (including and not limited to):
- Declaring “emergency”
- Suspending the Constitution
- Replacing the judiciary
- Setting up your choice interim government
- Arresting, detaining and mistreating lawyers, media personnel, human rights activists, students, and protestors in general.
- Shutting down cable news channels
- Holding suspect/staged elections
- Basically, anything that you can think up to cater to the whims of your colossal ego as apparently, you are the only one who knows what is right for Pakistan.

All these benefits are yours under the label of “war on terror”. Who knew it would be that simple?!

Please note that the use of this card is limited to Pakistan only. Other despot WOT Privilege card members have rights to similar benefits within their own countries, except for the US Administration who currently possesses the only Platinum WOT Privilege card which can be used globally.

Thank you for banking on us,

The WOT Executive Committee, in association with the Society of Fascists for the Advancement of Globalism

This blog is silent until further notice. Meanwhile, you can read my GV post instead.

… for Rant

He had been planning this attack for ages. He waited when she was at her most vulnerable and then raided her home with the intention of invading not just her privacy. He ripped off his scruples, gave into avarice and pounced on her. He tore up her country to usurp her bountiful resource(s). She screamed as he tried to massage her ego by saying this is what she wanted and then planted a big, wet puppet regime on her. She tried to resist but he utilized the terrorist cells to weaken her and blamed her for her own lack of security. Her screams were never heard as he controlled all her media channels. He played inside her ‘green zone’ while his blackwater proxies targeted her innocent civilians to weaken her further. She cried with pain and tried feebly to attack his permanent military bases but to no avail. He was determined to spread his democracy, in order to try to screw her freedom. Her neighbor heard her screams and called for help but that only turned him on more as he talked dirty by shouting profanities and fantasized about ravaging her neighbor while violating his current victim. The other G8ers watched the attack as the voyeuristic perverts that they are and no one came to her aid. They were far too impressed by the size of his military industrial complex. There was no end to his neoconic madness. The 08 presidential candidates complained about his actions but they could not muster enough courage to even collectively do anything to make him stop. They were all too busy thinking about taking over from him once he was done, especially with the photoshoped surveillance provided by the Israeli intelligence, they were all eyeing the neighbor as their own victim. The masses saw the rise of his police state and fell silent in fear of getting screwed themselves. He screamed as he reached his oil peak, his currency devalued while his stock markets collapsed with exhaustion. His massive empire finally fell. He suddenly realized what he had done, but it was too late, his future was already in ruins.

The End.

It’s been more than a fortnight since I became a father [Applause]. I could blather on endlessly about how deeply moving the whole experience is about becoming a father (for the first time) and how profound the love one feels for a new born child BUT I’m not going to do that here. I would rather take this opportunity to reveal an observation I’ve made since my son was born and that is, all new-born babies are very similar to fascist leaders and military dictators. Allow me to elucidate and pontificate (all at the same time, while holding my breath and standing on one leg).

Coup d’é•tat: With a sudden and decisive overthrow of government, the new-born has taken control of my home and I have been involuntarily drafted into the service of my child. All natural (and unnatural) resources will now be utilized to cater to the needs of this tiny dictator.

Removal of opposition in high government positions: My position as the primary decision maker in the house has now been relegated to that of an observer. Like the Chief Justice of Pakistan I was forcefully removed from office. Apparently, I know nothing about handling a new-born baby, as I don’t know when to feed or burp the little general. I only end up annoying him by waking him at the wrong time and therefore I cannot be part of his government. I am currently in the process of rounding up supporters and holding a mass demonstration in front of the baby’s crib.

Martial Law: All aspects of my life including my required sojourns to the W.C. are now dictated by the time-table set by this wee fascist. My movement is restricted and a curfew is set on the amount of time I can browse the internet or watch the news. Moreover, it is very unlikely that I will ever get relief from my house-arrest, as my wife has specifically made it clear that she needs help with the baby so “you ain’t going nowhere!”

Regrettable alliances: All known and many unknown (frightfully suspicious) relatives insisted on seeing the baby as soon as we brought him home from the hospital. There were some within this crowd of baby sycophants, who I as a parent, particularly don’t like (despise to be more precise) and I prayed that the baby times his projectile vomiting to target these specific individuals. Unfortunately, the baby just like a military general (who also happens to be the president of your home) decided to form alliances with these individuals in order to gain further popularity amongst the masses of the these distant family members. He did this by behaving perfectly when he was embraced in the unholy bosoms of these individuals. I’m quite sure though that he will grow up to regret his decision not to regurgitate his last meal while being cuddled by these party members as they gobbled down the last of the ladoos (sweets), while their children (junior party members) ran riot and caused irrevocable damage (to my expensive coffee table). The little shits will pay for that one day as I exact my revenge by visiting their house (in a few years) and have my son demolish something really expensive like a 90 inch flat screen television (if I’m lucky).

Refusal to give up the uniform: Just like a military dictator who ‘elects’ himself as President and also remains the chief of army staff, and refuses to give up his uniform, the baby screams his head off as soon as I try to unbutton his romper in time for his bath.

Restriction on Free Speech: As based on the whims of repressive leaders, the baby has tendency to get upset at odd times (based on his mood) to any sound that comes from my mouth. Some days I can talk and “coochie-coo” the hell out of the little despot and on other days I have to keep my gob shut because his infant holiness will not tolerate any verbal discourse in his near vicinity.

Human Rights Abuse / Torture: Currently under practice at all fine covert detention facilities around the world, sleep depravation is the most common form of torture utilized for the War On Terror interrogations. This form of torture is preferred not just by fascist governments but also by my son. He utilizes this inhumane technique to keep me completely unhinged and subservient. Currently, my wife and I are averaging about an hour of sleep every night.

Usurping of public property for personal gain: As is the habit of most dictators, the baby also stakes claim to property which is not rightfully his. Specifically, the baby now owns my side of the bed, even though he does have his own cot to sleep in. I have been quarantined to a sofa in the living room for my 1 hour of nightly slumber.

Privatization of national assets: This is a characteristic move made by most fascist leaders (supported by the United States) during their generally tumultuous rule. They sell off all key national assets to foreign/private investors. The presence of a new-born baby also results in a similar move often suggested by the mother.

Mother: “You know the bedroom cabinet that houses your TV, stereo and DVD player?”

Father: “Yes, I’m familiar with it as it contains my favourite things.”

Mother: “Well, that cabinet just has to go including all of its contents. Sell the damn things if you want but get rid of them immediately because we need to make space for his lordship’s crib and changing table.”

Freedom of the Press: No matter how democratic and open the claims by an autocratic government to the freedom of the press, there is ALWAYS news and information that is censored. Similarly, the news and information about the baby that is shared amongst friends and relatives is also open to scrutiny and censorship by the mother. “Now, don’t go around telling all your friends about how many times the baby cries and how much he keeps us awake at night. He doesn’t need bad press right now, especially as he has not even completed his 100 days in office!”

Government Waste: No matter how many promises we have heard regarding the reduction in the size of the government, there always seems to disproportionate amount of waste created by the same government on useless public programs. In the same manner, no matter how little milk the baby consumes during the day, the amount of waste produced by the little Mussolini is shockingly disproportionate based on the exceedingly large number of diapers he uses up during the course of a 24 hour period.

That reminds me, I better be off as I’ve registered myself for a two-day HAZMAT (Hazardous Material) Handling and Disposal Training course. My wife insists that I have to help with the diaper change.

I’ve spent the last 2 months researching the prime candidates for the next US Presidential race. Actually, that’s not quite true. I’ve spent the last 20 minutes browsing around the internet for something interesting to highlight but I have to say what I discovered was worthy of serious, global attention.

I’m sure you are all well aware of the more popular Republican politicians who have thrown their names in 2008 Presidential hat. For example, there’s Sam, Jim, Newt, Rudy, Mike, Fred, Tom, Chuck, Sneazy, Dopey, Tito and Asshead. Well, apart from the last four, all others are for real, (if you don’t believe me google the list of republican candidates).

There is however, one Republican candidate that immediately stands out far above the rest. He is not too well known amongst the populace and is certainly not among the political cohorts in Washington DC, who have made a career for themselves in government. His name is Philip Silva and he has officially announced his candidacy for 2008 Presidential race. I for one would like to thank him personally for doing that and hope he wins in 08. Why I am so thrilled about his candidacy? Please read on…

Philip Silva legally changed his name in 1996 to Saint Michael Jesus the Archangel. A former janitor who is now a self-employed writer, he describes himself as a “radical conservative republican”. He claims to be a Vietnam War veteran, which is impressive. He also claims to have been “volunteer Secret Agent for the Central Intelligence Agency without pay” which is even more impressive, as I’m sure you all will agree. In reference to his current name, he says “From the time I was a little boy I knew I was God and Michael the Archangel, but I didn’t dare tell anyone, not even anyone in my family because I knew that the devil, Satan, was going to try to murder me.” So you see, we are all in the presence of greatness here.

I managed to skim through his official Presidential campaign web site and highlight for you below, some of the key points from his manifesto:

Abortion:

I will outlaw by Executive Order all abortion in America because it has committed genocide against 40 to 50 million innocent helpless babies in America alone which cannot be tolerated any longer in a country that, according to a Supreme Court decision, is officially Christian.

Gay Marriage:

I will outlaw queer marriage by Executive Order because a Christian country cannot and should not tolerate what My Holy Word, the Bible, calls an ‘abomination’.

Economy

During My Campaign I will work to convince Archangel/President Gabuthelon George W. Bush to have the Congress pass the National Economic Stabilization And Recovery Act on the Internet atNESARA so he can sign it into law.

World Peace

I will work vigorously and pro-actively for World Peace when I take office in honor of My wife, the Blessed Virgin Mary Michelle (her middle name which I gave her as it is the feminine of Michael) who promised an “era of peace” when Pope Benedict XVI consecrates Russia in union with the Church’s bishops to her Immaculate Heart.

As soon as possible after taking office, I will commence buying for the United Domains Of Heaven other pacified countries’ bombs, mines, large ammunition, rockets, tanks, armored vehicles, artillery and other metal weapons of war that have become obsolete or unnecessary to melt them down and to use the metal to cast Heavenly coins to promote the peace and building Heaven on Earth. Warplanes, ships, submarines and other military vehicles will be allowed to remain for use in peaceful missions. I will establish a USA Department of Peace to teach the nations non-violent conflict resolution methods like My idea several years ago of having nations involved in verbal conflicts settle them with paintball wars, and provide for our troops to help the nations to train their disbanded military forces to be peace officers.

Reserve Bank

The United Domains Of Heaven Cosmic Reserve Bank will sell Our largest Banknotes to governments at the discount for legitimate and free governments in efforts to support the writing and adoption of American-style Constitutions which will do away with religious persecution, leftist political slavery and taxation which will be made unnecessary.

United Nations

I will confiscate the UN building with American troops, send all the socialist ambassadors there home, and turn it into the Headquarters of the United Domains Of Heaven On Earth, thus crippling the conspiracy of the Illuminati, the Bilderbergers, the Council on Foreign Relations, the Federal Reserve and other bankers and financiers, the Trilateral Commission, and the New Agers to subject the whole world to a Satanic to their homosexual pedophile One World Government run through the United Nations and its One World Religion, the blasphemous New Age Movement.

Islam and American Muslims

Since belief in Islam and the Koran is inconsistent with American freedom of religion because Islam believes in freedom of religion only for Muslims, and since they teach that Christians and Jews are “infidels” or pagans … all “American” Muslims will be given one month after I am elected to renounce their belief.

Palestine

I will buy from the Palestinians and other Arabs living between the Euphrates River and the Nile River all of that land which We gave to Israel in My Holy Word for eternity, and those Arabs will then have enough Heavenly Money to re-settle their people in other lands, perhaps Jordan where they’re really from and where they belong.

Now, I could go on quoting from his site but you can get the general gist of the profundity in his thinking. I highly recommend you go through his web site in detail, if you have a few free days at your disposal because it is very long read and exceptionally well designed with many interesting links.

Let’s all pray to the Head Quarters of the United Domain of Heaven on Earth, that come the next US Presidential election, he gets the recognition he deserves.

For those in doubt if he is real, check out his:

- name on the list of Republican candidates
- Presidential Campaign site
- News about his arrest on attempted homicide

Sung to the tune of My Way

And now the end is near
And so I face the final curtain
My friend, is only Bush, that much is clear,
We’re both war criminals, of that I’m certain.

I’ve lived a life, full of misdeeds,
Left trails of dead bodies on Iraqi highways,
And more, much more than this,
I screwed up My Way.

Regrets? I should have so many,
But then again, I can’t recall to mention
I did what I was told by Bush
And saw it through without exception
The US planned each charted course
each careful step along the byway
And more, much more than this,
I still claimed it My Way.

Yes all the time, I’m sure you knew
When we bit off, more than we could chew
But through it all, as was our goal
We ate it up and swallowed whole
The sovereign rights of an entire nation
And did it Our Way.

I’ve loved kissing Bush’s arse,
I’ve laughed and hardly cried,
I’ve had my fill, my share of brown nosing
and now as sanity subsides
I find it all so amusing
to think I did all that
and may I say not in a shy way

Oh no, oh no not me
I did it My Way

For what is a man, what has he got?
If not usurping another country’s oil reserves, then he has naught.
Possessed by avarice, one hardly feels,
Which makes it easy for the one who steals.
The record shows
Iraqis took the blows –
All because I did it my way!