the olive ream

So this is how it all happened. Ajoka, a non-commercial theatre group committed to the cause of social change in Pakistan, unveiled its new play Burqavaganza last month in Lahore. The satirical play, written by Shahid Nadeem, addresses the issue of the burqa (veil) and highlights the double-standards and hypocrisy of the feudal/tribal mindset. The aim was to use humour and satire to challenge the cultural status quo and to provoke people to think for themselves.

The audience thoroughly enjoyed the show and the play received positive reviews in the press. But the most surprising response to the play came from a rather astute group of individuals belonging to the MMA (more popularly known as Mullah Military Alliance). Inspired by the success of the Burqavaganza, five extremely talented MNAs decided to perform their own impromptu over-the-top ‘drama‘ in the National Assembly. The play imaginatively titled Fanativaganza (by yours truly), was a staged rebuttal to the Ajoka group’s play. Substituting the use of satire, the inspired MNAs opted for provocative language and violent hand gestures to ridicule the writer of Burqvaganza and the Director of the Ajoka theatre group. Apparently, to these five highly sensitive and pious individuals, the Burqavaganza play was clearly un-Islamic, enough to be classified as blasphemous. Although, it has to be clarified that these days, any critique, criticism, aspersion, censure, swipe or nitpicking of the norms and practices of these religious extremists will likely lead to a blasphemy charge, even if it is a comment regarding the general unruliness of their beards.

One minor clarification here, they cannot be called religious fundamentalists. This is because they fail to grasp the fundamentals of the religion they claim to be following. ‘Nutters’ is more appropriate and generally my preference.

The MNA performed drama did not get a positive response from the public or the press, but it did manage to get a standing ovation from the Minister of Culture, who subsequently announced a government ban on the Burqavaganza play to show his appreciation for the drama queens of the national assembly. He was so moved by the MMA performance that he additionally promised further government actions against the key members of the Ajoka Theatre group. I have to admit, as a Pakistani citizen, hearing this news brought a lump to my throat. It wasn’t that I was emotional, it just happened to be part of the process of me regurgitating my last meal, as I got sick to my stomach.

It is clear now that the government’s attempt at promoting ‘enlightened moderation’ in reference to religion has not been very successful. Actually, that is an understatement; it has been an unquestionable, resounding failure. I do admit though that they have managed to create an era of (religious) ‘moderated enlightenment’. When your faith is judged by the size of your beard or measured by the length of your veil, you are in serious, serious trouble!

“I before E except after C” is a mnemonic device that helps me remember the rule for spelling certain words in the English language, such as deceive and siege when I’m describing the actions of the Bush Administration. There’s also a less known memory aid which I qualify as “I before SY when preceded by a ‘Hypo’ “. This writing standard helps formulate the word hypocrisy, which describes the current global, rather repugnant, political status quo.

Allow me to pontificate on the absurdity of their logic. A South Vietnamese student goes on a murderous rampage on a college campus and he is to be seen as ‘deranged psychopath’ (and rightly so). A neocon led army goes on a murderous rampage in sovereign nation and we are supposed to classify that as ‘spreading peace and democracy’. That’s rather an absurd logic, don’t you think? Skewed so far off course, you can’t even see its connection to reality.

18 british sailors accused of spying, are detained for two weeks by Iranian authorities. They suffer severe torture for two strenuous weeks. Initially blindfolded and then isolated they are then further tormented by being well fed, given cigarette breaks, allowed to lounge around and play table tennis and board games, given new suits to wear and then finally released after receiving a gift bag each. We (the public) are then expected to sympathize with the tremendous suffering of these 18 admitted spies (according to the Sky News) who vacationed in Iran for a fortnight and then released to make money by selling their stories.

Along with the detention of the alleged Al Qaeda, Taliban and the frightfully dangerous Al Jazeera News channel reporter currently being held in indefinite detention at Guantanamo Bay, there are unknown number of world citizenry who have been kidnapped and ‘renditioned’ by CIA or their approved proxy agents under the umbrella of ‘War on Terror’. There are no signs of their release or an end to their REAL torture (as apposed to what the british sailors suffered). Any one in the world can be classified an ‘enemy combatant’ and suffer indefinite detention and torture, but we are all expected to feel safe because the sanctimonious saviors of this world are busy fighting EVIL and we should not disturb them. Our only responsibility here is to acquiesce when they come to unlawfully abduct us. Apparently, the meek shall not be inheriting the earth. We were misinformed.

We are all expected to support the right of others to voice their opinions on politics, race, religion, culture, etc. in order to ensure our own right to free speech. We should also be tolerant of criticism and ridicule of our own faith, as we cannot expect everyone to conform to our own religious norms and tenets. (And yes, I am referring specifically to the case of the religious caricatures in the mainstream media which caused a furor in many countries. Geez! People really need to chill out if South Park lampoons Tom Cruise and Scientology.) This point is key if you truly believe in free speech and freedom of expression. BUT, what you cannot be allowed to do (currently in Germany and Austria and soon to be applied to the rest of the EU and even the US) is to deny, question or revise (the facts about) the Holocaust. This is the one and only free speech issue most of the western media and even some activists groups I imagine, are really truly afraid of touching. Can u imagine what would have happened had Salman Rushdie written a holocaust revisionist book instead of the Satanic Verses. The darling of the British media would be rotting in some European jail without any complaints from the English press. Personally, I do not deny the holocaust and I think what happened was horrific to say the least, and Hitler was completely off his trolley, BUT I don’t want any country that criminalizes the discussion, revision or denial of the holocaust to claim to be a complete supporter of free speech – ever! Because that is just a lorry load of horse excrement!

Religious extremist groups generally lack the ability to recognize their own hypocrisy when it comes to human rights. They desperately complain and start rioting if you don’t allow them to exercise their (self-anointed) privilege to infringe on the rights of others. They couldn’t spot the ‘irony’ if it came and bit them on their gluteus maximus. After much contemplation, I’ve come to the conclusion; it is pointless to argue with them because they lack the requisite amount of brain cells and having seven or eight will just not do. I’m sorry!

And of course, there’s the pretentious bunch of so called ‘professional’ media and broadcast journalists who routinely question the abilities of bloggers to tell the truth, while the same lot (CNN, New York Times, The Associated Press, UPI and many other agencies) ran propagandist disinformation news stories courtesy the Office of Strategic Influence (which should have been appropriately called Department of Shoveling Sh*t). All these news stories were uncorroborated but the media published them anyway. So the next time you (as a blogger) gets questioned by the likes of Wolf Blitzer from CNN, you have the right to attack his journalistic integrity by kneeing him in the groin.

And here’s something even more asinine:
- US = 10,000 nuclear warheads
- Israel = 100 plus nuclear warheads (conservative est.)
- Iran = 0 nuclear warheads (currently)
And guess who is being classified as the biggest threat to the world? I’m sure you know the answer to that one. They further claim that Ahmedinajad is actually what makes Iran more dangerous, which supposedly justifies their covert attempts (by CIA and Mossad) to bring regime change in Iran. Excuse me?! Has anyone considered the other two geniuses (Bush and Olmert) in question in this current political stand-off ? Surely, by all rational, logical and factual reasoning, a regime change is far more desperately needed in the US and Israel.

The truth is, like you, I am severely frustrated by this growing hypocrisy. It started as like a small pimple but now this uncontrollable blemish has blossomed into a festering boil on the backside of humanity. And who is to blame? The current crop of fascist leaders. And by the way, they don’t give a damn about any of this. If you questioned them now, Bush would show you the finger and Cheney would signal you as a “Loser”. Don’t believe me?

Here’s proof:

I have recently been forwarded an email by a family member containing the following LINK. The link is to an article from New York Times titled, “A voice against Muslim ‘hostages’ to terror”. The article is about Dr. Wafa Sultan, a Syrian-American psychiatrist who apparently is being depicted (in this article) as a heroic and ‘fresh’ voice of reason on a crusade to reform Islam.

Rather than pontificate my views about Islam, I choose to reply by quoting directly from the article, with my responses highlighted in [brackets]. I choose to do this because like Dr. Wafa, I also claim to be a fresh voice of reason who couldn’t be bothered writing the full article by himself. So, here we go….

“Three weeks ago, Dr. Wafa Sultan was a largely unknown Syrian-American psychiatrist living outside Los Angeles, nursing a deep anger and despair about Muslims.” [And three weeks later, some largely unknown Muslims were nursing a deep anger and despair about her.]

“Today, thanks to a blunt and provocative interview on Al Jazeera satellite television on Feb. 21, she is an international sensation, hailed as a fresh voice of reason by some, and by others as a heretic and infidel who deserves to die.” [And still another group (which includes me) who just considers her a self-righteous, hypocritical and dangerous loon who desperately needs therapy.]

“..Sultan bitterly criticized the Muslim clerics, holy warriors and political leaders whom she believes have distorted the teachings of Muhammad and the Koran for 14 centuries. She said the world’s Muslims, whom she compares unfavorably to the Jews, have descended into a vortex of self-pity and violence.” [I have also bitterly criticized some Muslim clerics, holy warriors and political leaders but I don't generalize and equate all Muslims as extremists because of few with radical views. I think Dr. Wafa has descended into a vortex of self-importance and pretentiousness.]

“Sultan said the world was not witnessing a clash of religions or cultures, but a battle between modernity and barbarism, a battle that the forces of violent, reactionary Islam are destined to lose.” [I think she first needs to stop generalizing and understand the reason for the growth of such violent and reactionary Minority Factions of misinterpreters and extremist followers of Islam. Perhaps it might also have to do with the Neoconic, Globalist individuals who currently control the Government of the country she is currently a citizen of and who have nurtured and funded such extremists for their own benefit as and when needed.]

“In response, clerics throughout the Muslim world have condemned her, and her telephone answering machine has filled with dark threats.” [Notice how the genius author of this propagandist article once again generalizes all clerics and relates them to 'dark threats' left on her answering machine, by mentioning them in the same sentence.]

“But Islamic reformers have praised her for saying out loud, in Arabic and on the most widely seen television network in the Arab world, what few Muslims dare to say even in private.” [How many Muslim homes has the author been to, in order to make such a claim? And it is not Islam that needs reforming it is the people who misinterpret Islam.]

“I believe our people are hostages to our own beliefs and teachings,” ….”Knowledge has released me from this backward thinking. Somebody has to help free the Muslim people from these wrong beliefs.” [Apparently, she is the only Muslim ever to gain knowledge. Somebody has to free her from her miserably skewed view of reality.]

“The Jews have come from the tragedy and forced the world to respect them, with their knowledge, not with their terror; with their work, not with their crying and yelling.” [Yes, apparently no Zionist forces exists, no Jewish lobbies exist and most of all no European laws exist to jail any and every Holocaust revisionist who tends to question the official version of the holocaust even the slightest bit. Additionally, the Palestinians have also apparently learnt to respect Jews because of the knowledge and work of the IDF.]

“We have not seen a single Jew blow himself up in a German restaurant. We have not seen a single Jew destroy a church. We have not seen a single Jew protest by killing people.” [Yet we have seen a lot of single Jews shoot Palestinian children in the head, destroy homes, bomb houses, torture prisoners and also commit terrorist attacks around the world.]

“Only the Muslims defend their beliefs by burning down churches, killing people and destroying embassies. This path will not yield any results. The Muslims must ask themselves what they can do for humankind, before they demand that humankind respect them.” [If she actually believes that Muslims have monopoly over extremism and riotous and distructive acts, she needs to visit the Planet Earth for holiday excursion at the least to get in touch with reality.]

“Sultan is working on a book that – if it is published – it’s going to turn the Islamic world upside down.” [or so she claims and also make her rich and famous to boot and likely to get her an appearance on Oprah.]

“I have reached the point that doesn’t allow any U-turn. I have no choice. I am questioning every single teaching of our holy book.” [And as she is such a profound intellectual with such an amazing grasp of reality, it is unlikely that she will see a flaw in anything she says or does.]

“The working title is, “The Escaped Prisoner: When God is a Monster.” [I've got a better one; 'An Escaped Loon: When A Psychiatrist is a Mental Asylum Candidate]

“Gunmen of the Muslim Brotherhood burst into a classroom at the university and killed her professor as she watched, she said. They shot hundreds of bullets into him shouting, ‘God is Great!’ she said. At that point, I lost my trust in their god and began to question all our teachings. It was the turning point of my life, and it has led me to this present point. I had to leave. I had to look for another god.” [So due to the actions of certain extremists she started questioning her own religion and searching for another god rather than address the misinterpretation of Islam by the Muslim brotherhood. Smart move, although she cannot opt for any other major religion for the same reason, because they have their own collection of extremists who have committed heinous acts, be it Christianity, Judiasm or Hinduism. Maybe Church of Scientology would be her best option, as L. Ron Hubbard makes for a interesting supreme being and he is a science fiction writer to boot!]

“The clash we are witnessing around the world is not a clash of religions or a clash of civilizations,” Sultan said. “It is a clash between two opposites, between two eras. It is a clash between a mentality that belongs to the Middle Ages and another mentality that belongs to the 21st century. It is a clash between civilization and backwardness, between the civilized and the primitive, between barbarity and rationality.” [So it is not about the haves and the have-nots, about the globalists against third world countries and oil-producing nations, about the military industrial complex making a fortune on wars, or about selling fear and the War on Terror to advance a ridiculous 'New World Order'.]

“I have no fear,” she said. “I believe in my message. It is like a million-mile journey, and I believe I have walked the first and hardest 10 miles.” [Wait till her Limo arrives after her book is published, then she will not have to walk at all..and will be chauffeured all the way to her book signing in DC and Tel Aviv.]

—–

I am not one to usually respond in an overtly emotional manner in my posts but I broke this rule for the above post. In hindsight, I should have not have addressed my response in this manner. I realized this in my discussions with a friend (Fountainhead) and I thank him for bringing this to my attention. I do not think I succeeded in making my point clear with what I consider wrong (and extremely dangerous) about Dr. Wafa’s opinions.

It is like being caught in between bookends of two extremes. On one side are those extremist individuals who insist that the world respect and follow their (skewed) interpretation of Islam and on the other or those ‘reformists’ (like Dr. Wafa) who categorize all muslims as the followers of a religion that is extremist in nature. Stuck in the middle of these two are majority Muslims who follow Islam by understanding and interpreting the Quran for themselves (as it should be). I completely disagree with the extremist view of Islam because they are so off the mark that it is not even funny. Islam is a religion of tolerance, acceptance and love – Period! No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I whole-heartedly disagree with Dr. Wafa as well because it is not Islam that needs to be reformed it is people who need reformation in their thinking…and that includes her! Her generalization of muslims and her skewed perception of Islam is wrong, no matter how horrific the incident that caused her to question her religion.

I think for any religion, especially Islam, it is the individuals responsibility to understand and learn the true meaning of their Holy Book. They are responsible for themselves and no one else. Live your life and follow your religion as to how you believe is right and mind your own business instead of trying to convert or convince others to what you feel is ‘the right way’. There’s no real concept of clergy in Islam in my view, (it is just been you and your God), so I’d rather not start on the subject of Mullahs or this comment would be unending.

So here ends my lecture on this subject and hopefully I will sway away from making posts of this type in the future..

The 78th Annual Academy awards will be presented on March 5th, 2006 at the Kodak Theatre, and I for one am on tenterhooks. I can’t wait till it is all over. The understandable excitement for the Oscars ceremony has resulted in much hair loss and rectal prolapsing amongst all Hollywood bigwigs. This year’s selection is rather special as it covers the gamut of topical issues from cowboy manhandling to terrorists with a conscience. You will definitely need to take a box of tissues (and a clean pair of underwear) with you to go watch these films.

With much further ado, I present the nominees for this year’s Best Motion Picture Award:

Redneck Mountain
An epic love story, set against the sweeping landscapes of Texas that tells the story of two old, extremely rich men–a Vice President and a lawyer–who meet in February of 2006 while driving through a ranch apparently hunting for birds. They unexpectedly forge a lifelong connection, when the VP accidentally shoots the lawyer in the face, mistaking him for a quail. The resulting complications, joys and tragedies provide a testament to the endurance and power of love.

Kaput!
The brutal murder of more than a hundred thousand Iraqis and two thousand plus American soldiers in the invasion of Iraq sent shockwaves through the world – and captured the attention of an author named William Blum.The movie covers his journey to create a bestseller ROGUE STATE: A Guide to the World’s Only Superpower. Through his extensive research, Blum compiles a detailed list of US governments involvement since WWII in torturing, kidnapping, harboring terrorists, using chemical and biological weapons and utilizing many other lovely foreign policy tools. The book got a recommendation from the most wanted and homicidal of terrorists, Ossama Bin Laden. (I am not kidding!)

Crash (and burn)
A Danish Cartoon(ist). A rightwing-liberal newspaper. A Prime Minister in shock. Thousands of pissed off Muslim protestors. They all clash due to the re-printing of sacrilegious caricatures and over the question of freedom of expression. The protests start out with reasonable and legitimate verbal and written exchange but over the course of a few weeks turn into insanity driven, politically charged riots resulting in damage to property and human life. In the end, most of the protestors have forgotten what they were actually protesting about and end up smashing windows and peoples’ heads for the heck of it.

Good Bye and Good Riddance
Taking place in the post 9-11 era of broadcast journalism, the movie chronicles the real life conflict between Bill O’ Reilly (of Fox News) and those possessing sanity. With a desire to distort facts and promote sycophancy for the Administration, Bill ends up looking like an ass after each show. The movie is about O’ Reilly’s spiral downwards in the cesspool of tabloid journalism. Even the famous late night talk show host, David Letterman, known for his irreverent and ridiculous sense of humour, tells Bill, “60% of what you say is crap.” (Absolutely true – this actually happened.)

Munchen
Set in the aftermath of the US invasion of Iraq and the Abu Ghraib scandal, the story follows the secret CIA chartered flights that originate from various European cities (including Munich) to pick up ‘suspected’ Al Qaeda terrorists to be flown to other (suspect) countries for illegal detention and torture. As the news breaks in the mainstream media of these flights, it is up to the CIA to come up with more creative and innovative ways to cover their tracks (and their ass) in order to continue what they are doing.

As esteemed members of the academy, please submit your vote for the Best Picture and I shall see you all at the Oscars!

(Response to) Prime Minister Anders Fogh Rasmussen’s Address- 3rd Feb, 2006

Ambassadors, Your Excellencies,

Thank you for coming at such short notice, (a full five months after the initial incident happened). As you are well aware Denmark has been faced with protests from the Muslim world concerning the publication of drawings of the Prophet in the independent newspaper Jyllands-Posten (a right wing liberal newspaper, which just shows you how bloody confused this rag really is). The Minister for Foreign Affairs and I have invited you today to inform you on the facts of the matter as well as the position of the Government of Denmark (only now, because we didn’t have a clue as to how seriously the drawings would offend Muslims around the world, because apparently we are all living on another planet with the Danish Cartoon, Kurt Westergaard).

The drawings were brought in the newspaper Jyllands-Posten (Danish for Bigoted Tabloid) in late September 2005. In October I received from 11 ambassadors representing Muslim countries a letter in which they referred to the drawings and to other public statements. They requested a meeting and called on me to take action in the matter. (Being a secret sycophant of the xenophobes within my own government, I actually didn’t do much other than issue an asinine statement that the government could not interfere with the media because I don’t want any bad press myself.)

As you are well aware the cartoons (and I am not talking about the Danish government) caused a widespread public debate during the autumn. Therefore, I devoted a large part of my New Year’s Speech (which I didn’t actually write) to the very issue of ensuring a respectful dialogue and the principle of freedom of expression. (Oh, c’mon don’t laugh – I’m serious!)

In the speech, I made it clear that I condemn any expression, action or indication that attempts to demonise groups of people on the basis of their religion or ethnic background. (Which I have to admit is massive whopper of lie, as the Danish government passed a law, in September of 2004, limiting the ability of Muslims to enter into Denmark. In addition, several politicians within our country have made rather idiotic and racist statements against Muslims in their concentrated effort to convince all Danes to be either scared of Muslims or hate them or both. Thanks to the queen of Denmark for assisting in this effort.)

As you, Ambassadors, have witnessed during your stay in Denmark, the freedom of expression has a wide scope here. (We have the freedom to demonise, demean, ridicule and insult any religion or faith or sentiment that a considerably large population of the world holds sacred BUT what we do not have is the courage to express the same freedom when it comes to questioning the official [Holey] version of 9-11 OR exhibit the tenacity to attempt a cartoon of the Holocaust [God forbid] because that will admittedly be in bad taste and we will be hung by our genitals from the walls of Rosenborg Slot.)

But freedom of expression should always be combined with freedom of religion and respect between religions and cultures. (Absolutely) Those are fundamental values in the Danish society (Evidently not so.)
—
Point of Interest – From the Guardian (Feb 6, 06):

Jyllands-Posten, the Danish newspaper that first published the cartoons of the prophet Muhammad that have caused a storm of protest throughout the Islamic world, refused to run drawings lampooning Jesus Christ, it has emerged today.

The Danish daily turned down the cartoons of Christ three years ago, on the grounds that they could be offensive to readers and were not funny.

In April 2003, Danish illustrator Christoffer Zieler submitted a series of unsolicited cartoons dealing with the resurrection of Christ to Jyllands-Posten.